Letting Go
by tripleloopx
Summary: When Hermione Granger finds herself at the top of the Astronomy Tower, she contemplates what would happen if she let go. What if she wasn't alone? Set some time in their sixth year. I think.


**A/N: So this is the result of being really really bored. It's not that great but I thought I would post it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: Pssh you actually thought I owned this? I wish**

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It was oddly beautiful all the way up here. Quiet.

Ron Weasley was enthusiastically playing tonsil hockey with Lavender Brown and so Hermione found herself at the top of the Astronomy Tower, contemplating why she put up with it.

She was Hermione Jean Granger. One third (the third with the brains) of the Golden Trio. Gryffindor extraordinaire. Surely she doesn't have to put up with this.

Harry was becoming increasingly distant over the course of the school year. The pressure of the upcoming war was slowly taking its toll on her messy haired friend. He was moody and silent, barely ever paying attention to anything, and when he talked, it was only ever to sprout out his latest theory on what Malfoy was getting up to.

Speaking of the grey eyed Slytherin git, he had been acting weird all week now. Hermione first started to notice something weird the day that he pushed poor Dennis Creevey over, resulting in the young Gryffindor to knock out a tooth and spit out blood all over the corridor. He would stare at her when he thought she wasn't looking, walk in the opposite direction when he saw her coming and – strangest of all- he would look at her with guilty eyes. He didn't even insult her anymore.

Ron was the person doing her head in the most. The way he would look at Lavender with those sickening loved up eyes. That look was supposed to be directed towards her. That was her future. As pathetic as it sounds, she thought she was going to be Mrs Ronald Weasley one day. But his ignorant attitude towards her feelings of late had ruined those plans for her. Didn't he see that she loved him?

Pulling herself out of her melancholy thoughts, she once again gazed down at the school grounds before her. The grounds had been walked upon by thousands of young witches and wizards before her, going about their day, worrying about their education and whether or not their favourite dessert was going to be served that night.

But not Hermione Granger.

No, she was through with thinking about her education. She had wasted her five previous years trying her best to be something her parents could be proud of. Not once had they given her a 'Well done Hermione dear. We are ever so proud of you.' Sure, they had approved of her grades and had given her the occasional, well-meaning pat on the back, but never the words she craved to hear.

No, Hermione was through with living her life for other people. She was going to let go.

But what did letting go mean for her?

Letting go of Ron was the first thing on her ever growing list of things to do.

Quickly followed by telling Harry that she simply did not care in the slightest what Malfoy was up to.

Hermione mulled these things over in her brain before she realised that she couldn't let her best friends down like that. It was hard wired in her brain to be a people pleaser. To put others before herself. That's just who she is. But it would be far simpler to just let go of the railing that was holding her in her safe haven in the sky. To just fall.

Looking down once more, Hermione envisioned what the perfect grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would look like if it was covered in her blood. If her broken and bruised body was discovered in the morning by a surprised Hagrid.

She could see it now. The student body crowded around her lifeless form. Harry being comforted by a gently sobbing Ginny. Ron being distracted by his precious Lavender the only way she knows how. Her fellow Gryffindor's will support each other through it all.

Would Harry realise how his distance was affecting her?

Would Ron realise he missed his chance?

Would they blame themselves?

She almost snorted to herself as these questions ran through her head.

Of course Harry wouldn't realise. She loved him dearly but Harry Potter was a little self-centred at times. Hermione knew, however, that when he got off of his high horse, he would realise that he hadn't been there for her. He would blame himself eventually.

Ron was just so dense. He wouldn't realise her feelings for him even if she pranced around wearing only a sign that read "I LOVE YOU RONALD WEASLEY!" But Ginny, her faithful confidant, would tell him that it was his fault. He would also blame himself eventually.

As backwards as it seemed, she was glad they would blame themselves. She took comfort in having someone to blame for her decision. Her decision to just _let go._

Moving closer to the edge, Hermione was mentally saying her goodbyes that no one would ever hear when a noise from behind her brought her back to the present time.

Spinning around, Hermione had her wand pointed at the new comer before she was even fully aware of what she was doing.

It was Malfoy.

"Granger." He scoffed. "Put that thing away before you hurt yourself."

The words 'hurt yourself' resounded in her brain and for a moment, she panicked when she thought that he had figured out her plan.

"Don't come any closer Malfoy. I'm jumping whether you try and stop me or not."

She quickly registered the shock on his face before he schooled his features into indifference.

"Who said anything about stopping you, Granger? Maybe I was planning on joining you."

It was Hermione's turn to be shocked as his words made their way to her ears.

"Malfoy… What do you mean join me?"

"Well, Granger, it seems that we have both come here tonight for the same purpose. Who would have thought that the Golden Princess would try and off herself?"

"I could say the same thing about you, Malfoy."

"I have plenty of reasons to do this." he whispered, almost as if he'd forgotten she was there.

Regaining his superior smirk, he stated, "Unlike you, princess. Your life is just peachy from what I've seen."

"That's exactly it, Malfoy. That's what it looks like from the outside. But really, my parents only care if I get good grades. They make me learn Muggle schooling during the breaks. Harry hardly ever talks to me anymore. You stare at me all day long. Ron doesn't notice anything unless it's what colour Lavender Brown's knickers are. Everyone looks at me like they pity because they know that I like him. Everyone knows I like him. Except him. So everyone looks at me with bloody pity in their eyes and I can't take it anymore! I just can't see the point in living." Hermione whispered the last sentence. Half because she was losing her strength to keep it together, and half because she realised that she had shared her inner most thoughts with Draco Malfoy of all people.

He stared at her with shock evident in his cold, grey eyes. Hermione could tell that he wasn't expecting her to react like that.

"Malfoy," she whispered, "why do you stare at me all the time?"

Her question caused his eyes to snap back to hers.

"I have absolutely no idea what you are referring to, Granger" he scoffed.

"You can't actually lie to me Malfoy. I see you. You look… Conflicted when you look at me. I want to know why?"

Sighing, Draco approached the railing and leaned against it, facing the grounds. He stood, staring out at the grounds, much like Hermione did earlier, with a thoughtful expression on his face. Just as Hermione was about to give up and turn away, he let out a breath.

"I suppose you remember the other day when I pushed the younger Creevey over? And his tooth got knocked out?"

"Of course" she replied softly.

"His blood. It's the same as mine. It's not muddy and dirty like it should be. I mean, he's a mudblood, is he not? It shouldn't look like mine. Father lied. He has lied to me my whole life. He told me I was better than them because my blood was purer than muggle borns. He lied. I'm not any better than you or Creevey or anyone. We're all the same. We're all the bloody same."

Hermione remained silent, sensing that he needed her to remain quiet and not give him the 'I told you so' speech. On the inside, she was glad that he had come to the realisation that they were all the same. The conflict of what his upbringing was telling him and what he's discovered was written all over his face. Telling him he was wrong would only result in him yelling at her.

"Is that the only reason you were up here, wanting to jump? Because you were lied to?"

"No. The Dark Lord he… He gave me a task to do. I can't do it. I've been trying for the whole school year and nothing is working. He's going to torture my mother, make me watch her get _raped_, and then kill me if I fail. I'll die anyway but at least this way, it's on my terms. Potter keeps following me under that Merlin damned cloak of his and if he finds out, I'm dead. The stress keeps me awake at night and I don't know how much longer I can last."

"I stay awake at night too. Lavender keeps sneaking in later and later and I find myself wondering what she and Ronald are doing. And she never stops _giggling_! I swear to Merlin that she was put on this Earth just to test my limits. And then my brain won't shut off and I end up making lists of everything I need to do for the next day. That leads to worrying about homework that I haven't done. That leads to worrying about if my parents are proud of me. It's just so _stressful_. Everyone is expecting me to be something great. I'm scared I'm going to let them down. I'm scared of being a failure. I just don't want to feel anything anymore."

"You know, Granger, we aren't so different, you and I. We both are scared of failure. We both have people expecting things from us. We're both expected to be put together all the time. We both watch the person we care about chase after someone else."

Hermione turned to face Draco to find he was already looking intently at her. She was lost in the mesmerising emotion shining in his grey eyes as his lips formed her name.

"Hermione."

"Yes Draco?" She watched as a shiver made its' way through his body as she said his name.

"You deserve better than Weasley. He is a complete tosspot."

She cracked a smile at his insult. Finally, a glimpse of the Draco Malfoy that she was used to. And she couldn't help but agree with his simple description of Ron.

"You deserve better than being a puppet, Draco. You're not evil."

"I'm sick of pretending Hermione. I don't want to live anymore. I just don't want to do it anymore."

They had been slowly getting closer and closer to each other so that now, they were standing chest to chest. Hermione looked up through her lashes at Draco's lips. She watched as they came closer to her own and felt her eyes flutter closed as his lips ghosted over hers.

Pulling back before they started something that Hermione wouldn't want to stop, she opened her eyes to look up at Draco. Using her Gryffindor bravery, she took a deep breath.

"Draco. Would you… Would you change your mind about living if we had each other? If we could try to make each other happy?"

Her fear of rejection was quickly diminished as Draco crashed his lips to hers with a fiery passion that can't be copied.

Yes, Hermione Granger could see the point in living now.

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**Thank you for reading :)**


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